{"id":234,"date":"2010-04-21T16:04:10","date_gmt":"2010-04-22T00:04:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lisabravermoss.wordpress.com\/?p=234"},"modified":"2022-06-07T20:30:38","modified_gmt":"2022-06-07T20:30:38","slug":"crimes-against-eyeballs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lisabravermoss.com\/crimes-against-eyeballs\/","title":{"rendered":"Crimes Against Eyeballs"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: left;\">A recent article in the <em>Piedmont Post<\/em> sang the praises of TV.\u00a0 You know, social change, cultural idiom, blah blah blah.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Well, what that piece neglected to mention is how hard TV can be on the eyes. \u00a0And not in the way that reading without adequate light is hard on the eyes.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong><em>Cosmetic Surgery.<\/em><\/strong> The Nightmarish Excess prize should be split between Joan Rivers and Garry Shandling, both virtually unrecognizable.\u00a0 Honorable mention:\u00a0 Billy Crystal.\u00a0 Are these guys trying to make sure their faces are as funny as their standup routines?\u00a0 Arianna Huffington\u2019s jawline has become so rounded, she looks like she has the mumps.\u00a0 And musician Paul Simon, who shares a name with the late U.S. Democratic senator, would appear to be aspiring to his namesake\u2019s current look.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong><em>Coiffure<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 Remember when the comb-over was the undefeated champion in the contest for most horrifying male hairstyle?\u00a0 Never did I imagine that guys with full heads of hair would find a way to be every bit as wince-worthy.\u00a0 But the day has come, and we are smack in the middle of an epidemic of dye jobs that are two shades too dark.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Dudes.\u00a0 You have every right to color your hair, but as you age, you need to go <em>lighter<\/em> or risk being mistaken for a corpse.\u00a0 See how Donald Trump looks more natural than Robin Williams?\u00a0 I rest my case.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">At the other end of the spectrum, we have Amy Goodman of <em>Democracy Now.<\/em> Amy, Amy, Amy.\u00a0 You cannot continue wearing that overly earnest \u201cI don\u2019t color or style my hair because I\u2019m way too busy doing important work\u201d look, yet phone in kneejerk leftie ideology much of the time.\u00a0 Either you have time for thoughtful inquiry, or you have time for your hair\u2014I\u2019m leaving it entirely up to you, but you do need to choose.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Scary Mustache contest winner\u2014previous U.N. Ambassador John Bolton.\u00a0 Eyebrows That Terrify award\u2014author Richard N. Goodwin.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong><em>Underage Reporting<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 We hear all kinds of news about underage drinking, crime and sexual activity.\u00a0 The elephant in the room?\u00a0 Underage commentators, forced into servitude on major news networks.\u00a0 <em>The Nation<\/em>\u2019s Christopher Hayes, who looks like Tintin and probably shaves about as often, talked recently on MSNBC about that 11 year-old boy whose mother died for lack of health coverage.\u00a0 Did you notice his empathy?\u00a0 Well, that\u2019s because 11 year-olds are his peer group.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Andrew Ross Sorkin of the <em>New York Times<\/em> goes so far as to sport a wedding band on his left hand, when anyone can see he hasn\u2019t had his bar mitzvah yet.\u00a0 Ezra Klein writes for the <em>Washington Post <\/em>and <em>Newsweek<\/em> before having become eligible for a driver\u2019s license.\u00a0 This kind of exploitation\u2014it\u2019s just <em>wrong<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong><em>Gratuitous Idiocy<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 OK, when will writers of \u201crealistic\u201d TV dramas notice that people don\u2019t bolt upright in bed after a nightmare; they lie rigid in terrified paralysis?\u00a0 And that people don\u2019t get a dial tone when someone hangs up on them; the phone goes dead?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">TV.\u00a0 You gotta hate it.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Published in the <em>Piedmont Post<\/em>, April 21, 2010<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A recent article in the Piedmont Post sang the praises of TV.\u00a0 You know, social change, cultural idiom, blah blah blah. Well, what that piece neglected to mention is how hard TV can be on the eyes. \u00a0And not in the way that reading without adequate light is hard on the eyes. Cosmetic Surgery. The&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[110],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Crimes Against Eyeballs - Lisa Braver Moss<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lisabravermoss.com\/crimes-against-eyeballs\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Crimes Against Eyeballs - Lisa Braver Moss\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A recent article in the Piedmont Post sang the praises of TV.\u00a0 You know, social change, cultural idiom, blah blah blah. 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