{"id":60,"date":"2009-12-30T22:56:24","date_gmt":"2009-12-31T06:56:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lisabravermoss.wordpress.com\/?p=60"},"modified":"2022-06-10T17:09:43","modified_gmt":"2022-06-10T17:09:43","slug":"migraines-arent-all-roses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lisabravermoss.com\/migraines-arent-all-roses\/","title":{"rendered":"Migraines Aren’t All Roses"},"content":{"rendered":"

There are the \u201chaves\u201d and the \u201chave nots\u201d in this world, and since I have<\/em> migraines, I am inevitably going to inspire jealousy in some, however discreet and gracious I am about my elite status.\u00a0 Look, I understand; everyone wants in.\u00a0 It\u2019s human nature.<\/p>\n

Friends who are not members of this exclusive club try to conceal their envy by appearing sympathetic\u2014\u201cprivilege has its challenges,\u201d blah, blah blah\u2014as if that fools me.\u00a0 My husband makes me ice packs and tiptoes around just to feel a part of it all.<\/p>\n

I mean, what could be more glamorous than a decades-long susceptibility to agonizing pain on one side of the head?\u00a0 What beats the experience of feeling savagely attacked by ordinary light and noise\u2014or the dignity of alternating between moaning and vomiting?\u00a0 That is, enjoying all the pleasures of a hangover without having had to undergo the tedium of ingesting an alcoholic beverage?<\/p>\n

But let me tell you, migraine is not all it\u2019s cracked up to be.<\/p>\n

Take Imitrex, for example.\u00a0 Lauded as a miracle drug when it first hit the market in 1991, this medicine, also called Sumatriptan, sometimes works for me for awhile.\u00a0 But the headache comes back, sure as cold symptoms post-Contac.<\/p>\n

Until quite recently, when Imitrex went generic, each prescription cost me over $200 before my deductible was met, after which it went down to a trifling $81.\u00a0 This is for nine tablets (that\u2019s right, nine<\/em>), and for the record, drill and practice on square roots is not an approved migraine treatment.\u00a0 Indeed, it may be as unhelpful as getting gouged at the drug store.\u00a0 But I digress.<\/p>\n

All the wannabes in my life positively drool over the high-gloss cardboard folder of cute little triangular pink pills.\u00a0 Presumably, GlaxoSmithKline wouldn\u2019t want a handful of tablets rattling around in a bottle like so many pellets of, say, platinum.<\/p>\n

Of course, you tend not to care about cost when you\u2019re in the throes\u2014when the alternative is to hit yourself in the head with a hammer, not for the usual reason (it feels good to stop), but because a good thump genuinely seems more appealing than the headache.\u00a0 Ice pack?\u00a0 Give me an ice pick<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Yet even the pharmaceutical execs are jealous.\u00a0 I mean, why else would they see to it that while under siege, we of the noble class must battle our way through to tablets that are individually wrapped and sealed to the standard required for a NASA space walk?\u00a0 Is the idea to drive the headache away by inducing homicidal fury?\u00a0 Or\u2014if we\u2019re fortunate enough to get the foil bubble opened but unfortunate enough to watch as the tablet flies across the room and under the refrigerator\u2014a full-blown psychotic episode?<\/p>\n

As the 1980s Pantene hair products commercial went, don\u2019t hate me because I\u2019m beautiful.<\/p>\n

Lisa Braver Moss has tried drugs, diet, biofeedback, acupuncture, homeopathy, self-blame, aging, raging, and humility.<\/em><\/p>\n

Published in Piedmont Post, September 30, 2009<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There are the \u201chaves\u201d and the \u201chave nots\u201d in this world, and since I have migraines, I am inevitably going to inspire jealousy in some, however discreet and gracious I am about my elite status.\u00a0 Look, I understand; everyone wants in.\u00a0 It\u2019s human nature. Friends who are not members of this exclusive club try to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[64],"yoast_head":"\nMigraines Aren't All Roses - Lisa Braver Moss<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lisabravermoss.com\/migraines-arent-all-roses\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Migraines Aren't All Roses - Lisa Braver Moss\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There are the \u201chaves\u201d and the \u201chave nots\u201d in this world, and since I have migraines, I am inevitably going to inspire jealousy in some, however discreet and gracious I am about my elite status.\u00a0 Look, I understand; everyone wants in.\u00a0 It\u2019s human nature. 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